It was a wonderful Thanksgiving with the DeNiro family this year! Paul, Caroline, and I enjoyed several days of quality time with Grampy and Marmee, Uncle Michael, Aunt Allison and Uncle Billy, and cousins Landon and Sophia. Also present were the family dogs: Hayley, Isabel, and Frances. It made for a very full house up at Big Canoe, but everything went swimmingly. We even managed to assemble for a whole family picture: a rare event in the DeNiro household.
As I looked at the different takes of the family portrait on Uncle Billy's camera, I got to thinking about each family member, his or her different personality, and how we all come together on the holidays. I realized that everyone plays a role during these occasions and it amused me to explore them in my mind. Here's my take on each family member and his or her role whenever we get together...
Grampy: Aside from being our lovable and adored "Grampy", Dad has one of the most important roles when the family comes to town. He goes from being the CPO at Haverty's to the CSO, the "Chief Sanitation Officer". While fulfilling this role, one will see Grampy making multiple trips from the pint sized waste basket my parents use as an excuse for a kitchen trash can to the large trash can outdoors. As CSO, my Dad's job is to take out the trash as many as 10 times a day. My Dad takes this job seriously, and allows no one to remove trash without his consent. As the CSO, Grampy's job is also to provide each family member with enough hand sanitizer to drown a horse as well as enough toilet paper to tepee the entire neighborhood. Another important role Grampy fulfills when family comes to town is "Chief Valet Attendant", or CVA. No matter where you park, you can rest assured that it is not a satisfactory spot in Grampy's mind. You won't have been in the door for 10 minutes before Grampy will glance out the front window and then casually ask for your keys. Before you know it, your car will have been whipped out of it's spot and moved to a more "suitable" location. Don't get too comfy with this spot though. Grampy is a restless parking attendant, and he will surely find a better spot within a few hours. It is best just to leave your keys with Grampy until you leave town.
Marmee: Mom's job is head chef and CHO, or "Chief Happiness Officer." It is her job to provide enough home cooked food to feed a small country and also to ensure that everyone in the family is at the peak of happiness at all times. This is not an easy task, as one might imagine. Marmee does a great job of dispensing toys, help, and old family heirlooms in an effort to keep everyone content. She does it all with a smile on her face.
Her food is quite delicious too. This year's Thanksgiving dinner was the best we've ever had! Providing such wonderful meals is not an easy task because Marmee has an unfortunate repertoire of kitchen utensils. Her knives are so dull they can't cut butter, her vegetable peeler is circa 1700s (and has the rust to prove it), and her pantry is rife with dangerous foods (see my role below). I think we all know what Marmee will be getting in her stocking this year: kitchen supplies!
Aunt Allison: My sister has the job of being the house stylist. She can be counted upon to advise each family member how to dress for any occasion. She is especially good at dressing Caroline and Sophia so they look as adorable as can be. Another role Allison fills is Assistant Chef. She does this job wonderfully and has been known to cook a gourmet meal for 8 using a chicken, some rice, a few other ingredients, and the amazingly ancient kitchen utensils my mom adores.
Uncle Billy: My brother-in-law's main role is to provide comic relief when things get tense between family members. Whether it be to show a funny YouTube video such as "Spiders on Drugs", (look it up, it's hilarious) or to crack a joke or two, Uncle Billy can be counted on to dispel any tense moments that may occur. He is also our family photographer. Billy is quite talented, and we all have him to thank for our Christmas cards this year.
Uncle Michael: My brother fills multiple roles. He is our resident scholar, our mysterious brooding sibling, and our house babysitter. Michael surprises us all, going from being immersed in his German translation one minute to playing Star Wars on the floor with Landon in the next minute. I might also add that he is quite the fashion forward dresser :)
Uncle Paul: Paul is the house taste tester. No one worries about Paul being on a diet or being sheepish about eating too much. Just turn the oven on and Paul will come running to find out what delectable food will be coming out of Marmee's kitchen next. Uncle Paul is also our Chief Technology Officer. He can be counted on for wireless internet access, DVD assistance, and anything else that requires more than a pair of AA batteries.
Landon, Caroline and Sophia: The cousins only job is to look adorable and make us laugh. They fulfill these roles marvelously.
Aunt La: Aside from being the family member who cries first and most often whenever we get together, my other job is crucial, in my opinion. My parents are known to hoard amazing amounts of expired food. During each visit, I take it upon myself to rescue the family from certain botulism poisoning by cleaning out the pantry and the refrigerator. This is no small task. No matter how often I visit, there always seems to be a jar of mayonnaise from 1985 ("But I just used that yesterday!" says Mom)lurking in the back of the fridge or a dinged and rusted can of green beans that expired 3 years ago hiding out in the cupboards. My job is a thankless one, but someone has to do it.
I'll leave you now with a few pictures: Sophia and Caroline, all dolled up in their Thanksgiving dresses,and Caroline with Daddy and Mommy.
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